understanding attachment styles

Understanding Attachment Styles-by Carly Rizzo

Understanding attachment styles can help in knowing how relationships with caregivers during childhood present in adult relationships.

During developmental years, children rely on caregivers to meet their physical and emotional needs. It is necessary for caregivers to create an environment of comfort, safety, and security. When they are present and attuned to the child’s needs, the child feels they can experience the world and return to a reliable support—developing a secure attachment. However, if these needs are ignored, dismissed, and unmet, the child can develop an insecure attachment.

There are typically four attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and anxious-avoidant. Those who are secure feel they can rely on themselves and others. Those who are anxious feel they can rely on others but not themselves. Those who are avoidant feel they can rely on themselves but not others. Those who are anxious-avoidant feel they cannot rely on themselves or others.

Attachment styles often show up in the therapeutic relationship. The therapist is able to reflect insights in relational patterns and draw attention to blind spots the individual may have—bringing this to their awareness. As the therapist provides safety, trust, stability, support, and reliability, individuals experience a secure relationship, in which they are capable of creating in other relational dynamics.

If this resonates with you, or you struggle with attachment wounds and trauma, please reach out. We are currently offering therapy in the main line, Haverford, Bryn Mawr, Ardmore, and surrounding areas, as well as in Center City Philadelphia.